Managing Consultant at The Family Business Unit Ltd
What do you do when can’t seem to communicate with a member of the family in the business?
It often happens! A wife, husband, father, mother, brother, sister, son, daughter or grandparent just don’t understand you.
Here is what usually happens:
You stand your ground and fight it out
You ignore it – perhaps it will sort itself out
You run away – leave the business
There is a better way (No – it doesn’t involve hiring a “hit-man!)
You can’t force someone to change their behavior – you have a choice understand why they behave the way they do and to change yours. How can we do this?
I invite you to try this next time you are about to explode….you know those signs before it happens.
Stop and separate yourself from their emotions and behaviour – identify what it is in their behaviour is getting you angry and upset. Examine the dialogue in your head.
Put yourself in their shoes. See things through their eyes, hear things through their ears and feel what they are feeling. Ask yourself the question “Why are they really doing this?” “Is it to spite me or is there a deeper reason?”
With that additional knowledge, become an impartial observer. What would they suggest you do? How else would they advise that you manage the situation?
Hear that advice and reflect on it.
What other choices to you now have?
Because you are part of a system – you have set patterns of behaviour. This process will allow you new choices to change the outcome of a relationship situation.